


I Would Rather Like That

by ModLethal



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, uh oh here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModLethal/pseuds/ModLethal
Summary: Blitz and Stolas have a discussion about a certain book (and also maybe... some feelings?)
Relationships: Blitzo/Stolas (Helluva Boss)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 224





	I Would Rather Like That

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhhh, here we are in the hell year. What better time to post fanfiction about... oh you know.
> 
> I really respect fanfiction writers. Y’all do this shit for free? I’m an animator by trade, but sometimes I like to pretend I know how to write (I do not).
> 
> Self-betaed. Rated M for canon typical swearing and sex-discussing (no actual sex-having though, RIP). Don’t like don’t read! Have a good one, folks!

Blitz gently pulled his bedroom door shut, painfully aware of the age of its hinges. They groaned in protest. Once his chamber was sealed, he exhaled deeply, relaxing against the door. Almost as soon as he’d collapsed, he sprang back up, throwing his fists, and by extension the mighty tome in their clutches, around in celebration.

“Hello, Blitzy,” an unknown, lounging guest interrupted from his bed (which he, in turn, interrupted with a screeching noise he would later fervently deny having made).

“Stolas! Jesus FUCKING Christ how did you beat me to my own home? You were dead asleep when I left!” Blitz whispered, exasperated.

“I’ve had enough foreplay for one evening, dear. Here’s the thing, you can either give me the book back, or…” Stolas stood and strode across the room in two long steps, “they… can come and take it from you.” Stolas eyed the ceiling as he spoke. Blitz’s shoulders relaxed as he processed the threat. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh, that’s so typical of a royal. Acting like you’ve got the cleaners on speed dial. Like they’d drop everything and come running at your slightest inconvenience.”

“Now, now, Blitzy, we shared a wonderful evening together! Let’s not tarnish the memory with words said in anger—“

“Hey, Stolas, I’ve got an idea,” Blitz stomped closer to the demon, jabbing into his feathery chest, “How ‘bout next time you need your dick polished you call the cleaners instead of me, huh? Since you’ve got such a close, personal relationship with them.”

“Blitz—“ Having abandoned his hopes of making a stealthy return home, Blitz lifted the book over his head and began stomping around his room.

“Look at me, I’m STOLAS. I’m trapped in such a sham of a marriage that I have to stalk my little imp whore back to his house in a desperate excuse to spend even LESS time occupying my miserable! Fucking! Life!“

“You fuck face, it’s not my God damn book!” The room fell silent, the words ringing in Blitz’s ears, the weight of them hung on his shoulders. He slowly lowered the book, looked down at it, then traced his eyes up. He was met with a wild gaze currently hunkered down much too in his personal space given the current mood and the usual context of their proximity.

“You... you stole this from...” Blitz couldn’t exactly bring himself to say the words, (speak of the angels, and all) he pointed up. Stolas batted his hand down, as if also fearing an accidental summons.

“Yesssss, now!” Stolas hissed a whisper, one wing outstretched, grabby, the other clenched in a fist at his side. He certainly was a spoiled little thing. Blitz held the book away.

“Blitz!” The stomp of the owl demon shook his whole body in a way he unsuccessfully tried to play off.

“You’re not the only one who needs it! I didn’t take it for shits and giggles, I’ve gotta business to run! Clients!” Stolas tried to crowd in further.

“But whose reputation stands more to lose from an audit?” That rubbed Blitz wrong. His face pinched in so tight it hurt a little, his discomfort reflected back on Stolas’ face with a waver.

“That’s your problem! If you knew how precious this book was, why didn’t you hide it away? You just left it on the bedside table where any of the lowlives you entertain could get their grubby little mitts on it!” Blitz knocked Stolas back a few steps with that one. The towering owl demon blinked, recovering.

“Well, if I can be quite honest, I didn’t think you’d know how important it was.” Stolas’ voice carried a chuckle, but Blitz didn’t feel like being his joke. He surged forward.

“You’re not better than me, Stolas! The only reason I was able to steal this book is because you kept calling me! I was more than happy to leave well enough alone, but you couldn’t! And when you did have me around, you couldn’t stop yourself from talking down to me every chance you got! You really didn’t think I’d find some other way to fuck ya in the end? You’ve given me more than enough motivation to take it out of your ass in every way possible!”

Blitz’s chest heaved with the end of his rant. If it was at all possible under feathers, Stolas colored pink. He twitched, then hunkered down once more.

“You greedy, self serving little imp! Give me my book back!”

“It’s not YOUR book! I’d sooner hand it over to the angels directly than help your sorry ass with anything other than my dick!” 

Stolas’ opened his mouth, but fell short of actually speaking. Instead, his beak clicked shut. As he turned away, his cape nearly swiped Blitz’s face in the huff. Blitz felt another wave of anger begin to crest, but then—

“Blitz, do you know why I call you so frequently?” Blitz blinked.

“Uh, because you’re the biggest closet case this side of the pentagram—?“

“I call you because you’re the only demon I know who can keep up with me.” That shook something loose inside Blitz’s chest, but his mouth moved faster than his mind.

“You mean like... in bed?”

“No—please, for the next 2 minutes try to think with your other head!” Stolas exclaimed before he almost immediately unclenched and slumped back, sliding down the wall. He stared off in the distance for a moment. Patting the ground next to him. Blitz hugged the book tight to his chest, he couldn’t tell if it was more to protect the book or himself. Hesitantly, he joined the demon on the floor. Stolas did not drag his tired eyes away from a spot on the far wall.

“All day long its call after call, meeting after meeting, with these... bumbling idiots that have been inbred nearly to the point of extinction, or one would hope at least to the point of sterilization. That’s the only reason they have power, their blood. And they don’t have even... one percent of the brain capacity necessary to know what to do with it!” The feathers on Stolas’ chest puffed up a little, seemingly of their own volition. Blitz hoped his quick glance down at the demon’s chest went undetected. The demon continued on.

“They throw money around like confetti and don’t give a shit who has to clean up their messes when they’re done. Yet their actions hold real-world consequences. Honestly, Blitz, if you could know some of the shit these monsters have tried to pull it’s... utterly exhausting... having to try to anticipate their next moves when they’re based on exactly zero logic or reason. I corral them the best I can, but there’s only so much one demon can do.” Stolas turned to the small imp at his side. His face was controlled, but something warm still peaked through.

“You’re the only demon I know with whom I can hold an actual conversation. You’re bright, passionate, and irritating as hell. I-I um... I quite often find myself looking forward to the time I get to spend with you.” Pinned by the owlish eyes staring down at him, Blitz couldn’t look away. He was glad for his naturally red tint while simultaneously cursing the lighter sections of his pigmentation he could feel growing darker by the second.

“For being such a fan of our conversations, you sure don’t do very much talking when we...” Blitz fiddled with his hands, resisting the urge to make a vulgar gesture, “...spend time together.” Stolas barked a single bitter caw.

“If I called you, or invited you over without the promise of sex, would you come?”

“Well, if we’re not having sex I don’t see how I could possibly come—“ Stolas heaved a sigh at the anticipated quip.

“You’re the only demon I know that has the potential to be an interesting dinner guest. That doesn’t mean we’ll actually share a meal. But if it betters my odds, having sex with you on occasion doesn’t ruffle my feathers.”

“It does if I do it right.” Silence. It felt heavy, contemplative, but Blitz didn’t want to think right now.

“Who knows, maybe one day we’ll fuck ourselves hungry. Fall out of bed and into a shitty diner that’s open ‘til 3 am.” Stolas huffed a sad little laugh.

“I would rather like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> There was a second when I thought I might get the chance to work on this show, but that didn’t pan out. So now... we create content for it on our own terrible terms >:)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos, comments, and... whatever else... are all appreciated!


End file.
